This list comes from a University of Texas study published August 2007 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior (Original Paper, at the bottom of the page). It asked 400 students and volunteers why they had sex.
How to read this list: Keep in mind, most of the subjects were college-age students (which may certainly influence the top 1-20 reasons). The lower the number, the more people from the study felt this way. In the original paper (bottom of page) you can see also the difference between male and female answers. The list shown below is grouped into subcategories. Enjoy.
PHYSICAL REASONS
Stress Reduction
134 I was frustrated and need relief.
46 I wanted to release anxiety/stress.
67 I wanted to release tension.
3 I was bored.
12 I was under the influence of drugs.
131 It seemed like good exercise.
104 I thought it would relax me.
126 I’m addicted to sex.
110 It would allow me to ‘‘get sex out of my system’’ so that I could focus on other things.
100 I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on marijuana or some other drug).
130 I was drunk.
196 I am a sex addict.
105 I thought it would make me feel healthy.
192 I wanted to relieve ‘‘blue balls.’’
2 It just happened.
60 The person was ‘‘available.’’
125 I wanted to make a conquest.
59 I hadn’t had sex for a while.
109 I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
205 An erotic movie had turned me on.
218 I had not had sex in a long time.
157 I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
85 My hormones were out of control.
Pleasure
21 It feels good.
15 I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
19 I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
32 I was ‘‘horny.’’
18 I was attracted to the person.
54 It’s fun.
123 I wanted the pure pleasure.
151 I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
9 It’s exciting, adventurous.
1 I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment.’’
Physical Desirability
220 The person had an attractive face.
217 The person had a desirable body.
203 The person had beautiful eyes.
219 The person smelled nice.
200 The person’s physical appearance turned me on.
212 The person was really desired by others.
221 I was the person naked and could not resist.
201 The person was a good dancer.
113 The person was too physically attractive to resist.
225 The person wore revealing clothes.
215 The person flattered me.
103 The person was too ‘‘hot’’ (sexy) to resist.
222 I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
228 The person was mysterious.
195 I wanted to feel masculine.
Experience Seeking
42 I was curious about sex.
92 I was curious about my sexual abilities.
52 I wanted the experience.
106 I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
197 I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
107 I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
51 I wanted the adventure/excitement.
153 I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
41 I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
95 I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
193 I wanted to get the most out of life.
83 I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
99 The opportunity presented itself.
58 I wanted to act out a fantasy.
118 I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
GOAL ATTAINMENT
Resources
155 I wanted to get a raise.
147 I wanted to punish myself.
154 I wanted to get a job.
78 I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
156 I wanted to get a promotion.
169 I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS).
129 Someone offered me money to do it.
7 I wanted to feel closed to God.
158 I wanted to make money.
27 I wanted to have a child.
174 I was afraid to say ‘‘no’’ due to the possibility of physical harm.
231 I wanted to reproduce.
181 It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
133 The person offered me drugs for doing it.
49 I wanted to end the relationship.
128 I wanted to be used or degraded.
Social Status
56 I wanted to be popular.
145 I wanted to enhance my reputation.
29 I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
39 I was competing with someone else to ‘‘get the person.’’
112 It would damage my reputation if I said ‘‘no.’’
23 The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
198 I thought it would boost my social status.
50 My friends pressured me into it.
127 It was a favor to someone.
5 Someone dared me.
150 I wanted to impress friends.
226 The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.
69 I was slumming.
57 It would get me gifts.
Revenge
144 I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
119 I was mad at my partner so I had sex with someone else.
55 I wanted to get even with someone.
177 I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
28 I wanted to make someone else jealous.
148 I wanted to break up rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
138 I was on the ‘‘rebound’’ from another relationship.
137 My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else.
63 I wanted to make someone else jealous.
170 I wanted to breakup another’s relationship.
178 I wanted to hurt an enemy.
141 Because of a bet.
Utilitarian
213 I wanted to gain access to that person’s friends.
161 I wanted to get out of doing something.
176 I wanted to burn calories.
146 I wanted to keep warm.
206 The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner.
173 I wanted to get rid of a headache.
160 I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
108 I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
208 The person had bought me jewelry.
182 I wanted to become more focused on work- sexual thoughts are distracting. 162 I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
167 I wanted to get a favor from someone.
190 I wanted to defy my parents.
171 I wanted to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
143 I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
192 I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
168 I wanted to breakup my relationship,
101 It’s considered ‘‘taboo’’ by society.
214 I felt jealous.
199 The person had a lot of money.
EMOTIONAL REASONS
Love & Commitment
74 I wanted to feel connected to the person.
117 I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
90 I wanted to communicate at a ‘‘deeper’’ level.
14 I wanted to express my love for the person.
16 I wanted to show my affection to the person.
71 I wanted to intensify my relationship.
6 I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy).
166 I wanted to become one with another person.
72 It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship.
229 I realized I was in love.
163 I wanted to get a partner to express love.
79 I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself.
159 I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
Expression
188 I wanted to welcome someone home.
185 I wanted to say ‘‘I’m sorry.’’
187 I wanted to say ‘‘thank you.’’
189 I wanted to say ‘‘good bye.’’
184 I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
183 I wanted to say ‘‘I’ve missed you.’’
235 I wanted to lift my partner’s spirits.
164 I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
INSECURITY
Self-Esteem Boost
65 I wanted to feel powerful.
180 I wanted to raise my self-esteem.
172 I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
139 I wanted to boost my self-esteem.
179 I wanted to feel older.
237 I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.
43 I wanted to feel attractive.
194 I wanted to feel feminine.
70 I felt rebellious.
66 I wanted to ‘‘possess’’ the person.
233 I wanted my partner to notice me.
36 I wanted the attention.
40 I wanted to ‘‘gain control’’ of the person.
76 I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
136 I felt insecure.
45 I wanted to display submission.
64 I felt sorry for the person.
34 I was feeling lonely.
86 It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
81 I was trying to ‘‘get over’’ an earlier person/relationship.
Duty / Pressure
47 I didn’t know how to say ‘‘no.’’
132 I was pressured into doing it.
53 I felt obligated to.
25 I was verbally coerced into it.
48 I felt like it was my duty.
77 I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
22 My partner kept insisting.
17 I felt like I owed it to the person.
24 I was physically forced to.
121 It was expected of me.
84 I felt guilty.
80 I didn’t want to disappoint the person.
73 I wanted to be nice.
94 It was just part of the relationship ‘‘routine.’’
89 I had no self-control.
4 It just seemed like ‘‘the thing to do.’’
Mate Guarding
122 I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
175 I wanted to keep my partner from having sex with someone else.
140 I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
111 I wanted to decrease my partner’s desire to have sex with someone else
165 I wanted to prevent a breakup.
91 I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn’t have sex with him/her. 38 I wanted to ensure the relationship was ‘‘committed.’’
61 I didn’t want to ‘‘lose’’ the person.
26 I wanted to person to love me.
62 I thought it would help ‘‘trap a new partner.
